A helpful anagram of the Philosophers' Drinking Song

This anagram turns a Monty Python song into a summary of the 'twelve steps' applied in, e.g., Alcoholics Anonymous.

The Philosophers' Drinking Song
(Monty Python)

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away -
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart.
"I drink, therefore I am."

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker
But a bugger when he's pissed.


The 'Twelve Steps' Alcoholics Anonymous has, used by folks who particularly wish to remove desire for drink and just be dry:

* humbly admitting we are powerless here ("Yes, I have a problem")
* seeing that surely there's a higher power (Jesus, Yahweh, Buddha, Allah, ..., Beelzebub?)
* wholly surrendering our will and life itself to that power
* taking a full moral inventory (take stock)
* admitting the nature of all faults
* being ready for God to wash away character defects
* asking that He do so, so we can happily shed these holds on our psyche
* listing those we, sadly, hurt in demon brew's sins
* making direct amends, where this isn't harmful
* continuing assays, and to admit it when we err
* seeking better contact with God by way of prayers etc.
* with zeal, sharing AA's messages with alcoholics, also practising these fully in all life's affairs

Back to anagrams index page

Go to Anna's main index page

These pages are © 2002-2014 Anna Shefl