Dumb ways to die

The left-hand side is the soundtrack to the Australian-government-financed video found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DVGEWHN6ds and probably elsewhere. If you've not seen 'Dumb Ways to Die' yet, I'd recommend doing so first - I think the visuals and tune add a lot.

The right-hand side is all true, as near as anyone can tell.

Set fire to your hair
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear
Eat medicine that's out of date
Use your private parts as piranha bait

Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die
Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die

Get your toast out with a fork
Do your own electrical work
Teach yourself how to fly
Eat a two-week-old unrefrigerated pie...

Invite a psycho killer inside
Scratch your drug dealer's brand-new ride
Take your helmet off in outer space
Use your clothes-dryer as a hiding place...

Keep a rattlesnake as a pet
Sell both your kidneys on the Internet
Eat a tube of Superglue
'I wonder... what's this red button do?'...

Dress up like a moose during hunting season
Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason
Stand on the edge of a train-station platform
Drive around the boom gates at a level crossing
Run across the tracks between the platforms
They may not rhyme, but they're quite possibly

The dumbest ways to die, the dumbest ways to die
The dumbest ways to die
So many dumb, so many dumb ways to die

Be safe around trains. A message from Metro.


'Wow - it's my fault?!' obit odyssey

A twenty-year-old dimwit at Boston University croaked as a 'prank' went awry. Our studious youth, unable to keep hold of rope he'd shimmied up, wound up taking a bad fall from BU's Communications building. Boston University's Kevin Carleton said 'three remaining students' were part of the mysterious deterred work: to display a rooftop swastika.

US Navy SEAL Gene Clayton, age twenty-two years, opted to show weapons to some chick he'd met at a bar. For proof a pistol was safe, he took it, raised it to a temple, and - sure its chamber was empty - fired it. A messy tactic.

Miguel Martinez, fourteen years of age, was gored by a bull: the boy played hide-and-seek in US National Ranching Heritage Museum territory and ran about outdoors before he was impaled on a bull statue's horn so headed to a cemetery.

Thistry dummy Tycho Brahe suffered bladder issues but - courteous - stayed seated at a ritzy banquet as he got drunker. The organ burst. Destroyed, the rest of the guy's body resisted death a week or so more.

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