Two FAQ excerpts anagrammed...

The first FAQ excerpt transformed here is from the Charmin bog-roll Web site. Its right-hand side is, fittingly, about toilet paper. The second 'gram is of a section of the FAQ on an anti-pigmentation product, into further discussion of that product. All typos etc. are in the original material quoted.

On a roll...

From Charmin's Web site:


Q. The plies on my Charmin Ultra are not lined up; it's not tearing in
the right place.

A. Here's an easy fix if the plies aren't lining up:

* Hold the roll in front of you with the paper winding over the top.
* Pull the top ply up and drop it back behind the roll.
* Its perforations should match with the layer that's now on top.
* Tear away the excess and you're good to go.
	
[...]
	
Claims valid only in Canada*.

=

Using paper for tush-wiping 'dates from mediaeval China'.  Then came
loo roll, in the nineteenth century.  Today, US people alone flush
over thirty million rolls per day.

Ancient Rome had a stick-with-sponge approach.  Others went quite
happily with a corn cob for aid (harsh!).  Adult text by Rabelais
points to Toilet Goose...**

Indian norm: No using Andrex TP!  Apply water, held with the 'filthy'
left, not right, hand.

- - - - -
Notes (not part of the 'gram):
* The Charmin FAQ page tries to be clever in guessing where the reader is.
** Rabelais went on about the topic at some length. Some of it is painful reading even when one bears in mind his satirical bent etc.

 

The white choice...

Q) How does Whitenicious lighten the skin?                                                   

A) The Fruit acids exfoliates the skin's surface. This process lifts                         
hyperpigmented skin and hence lightens the skin. Once the skin reveals                       
a new layer, it becomes twice more effective in absorbing the lightening                     
cream, which is very effective in achieving brighter/lighter skin.                           

Q) Does whitenicious work on all skin types?                                                 

A) Yes, our products have been proven to work on all skin types. Every                       
race, skin type color and gender.                                                            

=

Ads open: "Say goodbye to pigmentation and spots forever."                                   

Nigerian celebrity Dencia (R.N. Sonkey) spoke thus of her select "dark                       
spot remover"s line: if users "think their whole body is a dark spot,                        
then fine".  Quoth she: "White is pure."                                                     

Interviewers who query this chick's non-extensively-black cheeks,                            
neck, etc. will get this view: it's a choice like bleaching her hair.                        

Witness her one-sentence overview citing its effects: "I have girls                          
calling me up and crying, thanking me."  <Sniff>

 


Back to anagrams index page

Go to Anna's main index page

These pages are © 2002-2015 Anna Shefl