Formula 1 anagrams

First are some silly anagrams of F1 racing drivers and such. After that are some anagrammatical comments about various specific race incidents of the last few years (the latter are updated more frequently). Not all of these anagrams are good...


Red Bull Racing = Bring Duracell!

Felipe Massa = Semi-safe lap

[A commonplace complaint in recent years]
Pirelli tyre compounds ~ surely crippled motion.

[As of 2011]
The double world champion Sebastian Vettel = Invulnerable. I'd be so hot a stopwatch melted.

[Not strictly fair]
Lewis Hamilton = I'm lethal so win!

[Fair]
Pastor Maldonado = Mad on road. Postal.

David Marshall Coulthard = Mash rival car, old lad: thud.

GP driver Eddie Irvine = I deride revving pride.
[Poetry on motion]

Jos Verstappen's crime = Jester's crap move: spin.
[Unfair since his departure methods varied]


[June 2016 -
His ill fortune in recent races, including team error, makes this not entirely implausible as a prediction...]

Daniel Ricciardo = Oil did in racecar.

[April 2016 -
Nico Rosberg is the championship leader thus far in the season.]

Nico Rosberg = Big scorer, no?
With Mercedes, his career has recently progressed quite a way from 'No big scorer'.

[15 March 2015 -
With the Australian GP, we've started a new season of Formula 1. Let's look at one of the drivers new to the sport this year.]

Felipe Nasr ~ refines lap.
His future looks good too:
Felipe Nasr: Fine pearls!

[23 November 2014 -
In the final Grand Prix of the season, the F1 world championship was decided.]

Hamilton & top car - I'm wowed = A two-time world champion

Nico Rosberg came second = Cross, boo Merc engine. Cad. <- If he's upset etc.

[12 October 2014 -
Russia's first Formula 1 Grand Prix for 100 years was largely the work of two individuals with dodgy-geezer status and plenty of ill-gotten gains: Putin and Bernie 'the dwarf' Ecclestone, the head of the Formula One Group. The two were quite pally during the race, in which neither the Russian driver nor the Russian team placed particularly high.]

The new Sochi Formula One Grand Prix
= Putin errs: exchanged moolah for win
= Relaxing here, Putin & dwarf smooch, no?

[3 November 2012 -
Somehow, safety cars, wing issues, and penalties became a positive thing for him.]

Sebastian Vettel is a fluky bastard =
A valiant Kraut sits blessed by fate.

[24 June 2012]
From eleventh to first in the European Grand Prix =
Expert Ferrari pit men. Fun. Alonso drove the thing.

[15 April 2012 - China]
Nico Rosberg dominates in the Shanghai race =
He in his great car - combo earned "Astonishing!"

[The start of the 2011 season -
With defending champion Sebastian Vettel starting F1 the season with a dominant performance and Ferrari's Fernando Alonso unable to come near him:]

A Red Bull wins at the season's first race. =
Fred's car's wheels not best in Australia.

[2010 -
I have been remiss in doing Formula One anagrams of late. By way of partial apology, here is one for the end to the tight battle for the drivers' championship title.]

World Champion Sebastian Vettel = Drive well, into a 'Best Man' cash pot.

Meanwhile, his teammate might be tempted to drown his sorrows at how close he came:
Mark Weber = Brew-maker.

[Spa, 30 August 2009]
A Force India took number two in Spa, Belgium =
Bag near-win. Formula One podium bit is OK, etc.

[China, 19 April 2009 -
a historic and very wet Grand Prix.]

Red Bull Racing win in China =
"I led bunch crawling in rain."

[3 November 2008]
The Formula One world champion, Lewis Hamilton =
Wet last lap ... flood ... miracle win. Oh, men honour him!

[Japan, 12 October 2008 -
an interesting race is soured greatly by stewards' decisions, as seems to be the case more and more often.]

A second Formula One win this year surprises both Fernando Alonso and the Renault team. =
Oh, man...
Ferrari cronies found one unreal penalty to hand Lewis, then Seb too. Massa's a turd.

[Singapore, 28 September 2008 -
the first night race boasts a first-time podium finisher, the first race win of the season for Fernando Alonso, and a pit-lane fiasco for Ferrari; coming in third, Lewis Hamilton is now further ahead in the competition for the drivers' championship crown.]

Alonso, Rosberg, Hamilton = A night Marlboro loses, no?
Ferrari pit lane fiasco = Fiat's error: an 'epic fail'.

[China, 7 October 2007]
Inept Lewis in a pout ... wipes out in pitlane.

[Japan, 30 September 2007 -
an anagram of a silly headline befitting a soggy, foggy race day.]

Hamilton Rains Supreme = Splash-immune anterior!

It should come as no great shock to anyone that leading the race can make it easier not to be hit by the rain in others' wake. For something more controversial, here's the anagram I found first...
Hamilton Rains Supreme = Minstrel man's euphoria

[17 September 2007 -
we have the FIA's World Motor Sport Council to thank for this anagram, and for casting a sodden blanket over what was shaping up to be a most interesting F1 season.]

A horrific day - council step in and punish team (Ron Dennis, Alonso, Hamilton, PdLR, others):
=
A one hundred million dollar fine and no constructors' championship points this year.
And the slightly more biased and silly version:
Shiny red team orders hint to FIA council "Punish Dennis. Carpoon Alonso, Hamilton, PdlR!"
=
A one hundred million dollar fine and no constructors' championship points this year.

[What does the future hold?]
Formula One season = Alonso more unsafe?

[Malaysia, 8 May 2007]
The race in Malaysia = Yea - McLaren hit Asia!

[Germany, 30 July 2006 -
a desperate plea prompted by the race results...]

In Germany, redder is faster. =
"End Ferrari design mastery!"

To adopt the voice of a certain smug German, and perhaps slightly poor taste:
The outcome today in Germany is yet another Ferrari win. =
"Terrifying, I hint to you on Monday: 'We are the race master!'"

[Monaco on 28 May 2006 -
a day that will live in infamy.]

The Monaco Formula One...
Oooh, monumental farce.

[San Marino Grand Prix, 23 April 2006 -
a change in Ferrari's pace, which had been uninspiring in the weeks that followed the suggestion that they should use rules-compliant wings.]

M. Schumacher gets pole and the win at Imola =
Allow this cheating team no cars! Dump 'em, eh?

[Malaysian Grand Prix, 19 March 2006 -
an exciting race in which both Renault drivers do good work.]

One-two in Sepang = A top engine's won.

[Silverstone, 10 July 2005 -
both McLarens surprise by finishing the race (and then some).]

Juan Pablo Montoya takes his first win for McLaren =
(AP) Reliability Shocker!
An on-form fat man's just won!'

[Monte Carlo, 22 May 2005 -
after two in a row...]

Kimi wins again, at the Monte Carlo race. =
With Monaco, a McLaren's in gear, I take it.

[Spain, 8 May 2005 -
McLaren finally show what their cars can do if they make it to the end of a race - Kimi makes Alonso look slow... Meanwhile, Ferrari are beset by problems, and Michael retires to the sidelines after the second of two pit stops caused by tyre punctures.]

Kimi leads. = A smile, kid?

Kimi set the pace, and he won. = Spain: the one Mike watched.

Or, for those who don't like motor racing:
Kimi sets the pace and wins it. =
"A champ?! It is weekends sittin'!"

[San Marino, 24 April 2005 -
Michael is in 10th position at the first round of pit stops. After eating away at the gap to Jenson Button and then race leader Fernando Alonso, he breathes down the neck of the latter for the last 12 laps of the race.]

The last race, in San Marino, was _close_. =
Michael _tastes_ Alonso's car - a winner.

[Bahrain, 3 April 2005]
What took place in Sunday's Formula One Race in Bahrain...
=
Schumacher plea: "No, Brawn! No Italian autos, okay, friend?"
=
Rub it in, Fernando Alonso. Poke away at Schumacher: "A nil?".
=
A Fernando Alonso win. A Schumacher break. Italy poutin'.

[The second race of the season, held in Malaysia on 20 March 2005]
Alonso wins the race in Sepang = Engine's in shape. Not a slow car.

[Season finale in October 2004]
Montoya wins the year's final race, in Interlagos, Brazil ~
in a classy not-Ferrari one-two - amazing, eh? Yes, brilliant.
and
As Montoya wins the race (the Brazilian Grand Prix at Interlagos), ~
it's amazing, poignant. Await next season, Barrichello; try harder.

[Spanish Grand Prix, May 2003]
The new Ferrari cars =
Faster, Herr! Win race!

[On the Ferrari unveiled at the start of the season - or indeed most seasons]
Inside that new Ferrari's ~ a winner. Their red is fast.

[The Schumacher brothers' mother dies in April 2003, on a race weekend. They do well in the race nonetheless.]
Crushed, hit, brothers amaze. Helmets hid ache at ~ their mother Elizabeth Schumacher's sad death.
(Also, 'Their mother Elizabeth Schumacher's sad death. =
The Deutsche brothers hard-hit, Michael amazes.')

[The Australian Grand Prix in 2002 sees almost half of the field on the sidelines for most of the race, as the result of a lot of first-corner action.]
The first corner of the Australian Grand Prix =
Poor cars - half exit in rather frustrating end.

[In July 2002, I wonder whether Juan Pablo Montoya would start winning races, as he had been on pole position so many times in the course of the season without winning. Here's some wishful thinking.]
Just how many poles? = J. P. Montoya slew Shu!
How many poles is it now? = Montoya, who wins piles.

[In May 2002, Ferrari order Rubens Barrichello to allow Michael past to win the Italian Grand Prix, amid booing. At least, that's probably what happened. We will never know what went on between the team and the drivers, so I'm not going to judge Michael to be a creep in this particular case. Certainly, my opinion of Ferrari is lower after this incident.]
Quote from Williams boss Patrick Head:
"A team that has produced a car this brilliant does not really need to do this." =
Italy ad: Barrichello ordered to let Schumi past at the end. A sad host nation.


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