Headlines in anagrams

Since some of these events have faded from the headlines rather quickly or additional background could be useful for appreciating the anagram, many are presented with descriptive notes (any URLs included were current at the time of writing). The most recent anagrams are at the top.

[25 June 2016 -
As Brexit reality sets in, arguments involve when and whether to formally give notice of leaving the European Union under the establishing treaty.]

Invoking Article Fifty =
Fricking vote finality


[24 June 2016 -
Citizens of the UK wake to the news that the Leave camp have emerged triumphant in the vote. Uncertainty rules the day.]

Leaving the European Union =
Into a guano heap. Nil revenue. =
Then poor. Nine-guinea value. =
Avenue: Out. Alone, pining her.


[23 June 2016 -
UK voters decide on whether to leave the European Union or reamin, and no-one is sure what the consequences of either might be.]

The Brexit vote...
To vex the tribe


[26 April 2016 -
In the Netherlands, a sadistic dentist has been caught after mutilating more than 100 patients' mouths.]

The dentist Jacobus Van Nierop =
Sad teeth, in pain. Job's over, cunt!


[17 March 2016 -
The well-known British stage magician has died.]

Paul Daniels,
As in 'dupe all'


[14 March 2016 -
Another musical icon of his day, from Emerson, Lake, and Palmer fame, passes away.]

Keith Emerson:
Keen trio mesh Keen: "More hits!"


[10 March 2016 -
Several more obituaries have hit the news, for the Beatles' record producer, an eminent figure in the development of e-mail, and a characterful theatrical director.]

George Martin = Get 'em roaring
Ray Tomlinson = 'At' is only norm
Michael S. White = He lies with cam


[4 February 2016 -
Edgar Mitchell, the sixth man on the moon, has died. After having a life-changing experience in space, he'd ended up devoting much of his life to noetics, mystical realms, and his belief that aliens have visited Earth.]

Edgar Mitchell = Helmet-rig-clad
Astronaut Ed Mitchell = Lame noetic 'truths', lad.
Astronaut Edgar Dean Mitchell = Add more earthlings at Luna, etc.


[11 February 2016 -
The BBC announces the line-up of new hosts for hit programme Top Gear. In the left-hand side's farewell to the old, there's also a bonus reference to the show's recentish number-plate fiasco.]

Need a press-giant driver? Rich "BEll END"s (friends Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May) drove the ritziest cars, but so can
~
/Top Gear/'s James "Chris" Evans, Matt Steven LeBlanc, Edmund "Eddie" Jordan, Sabine Schmitz (formerly Reck), Rory Reid, and Chris Harris.


[31 January 2016]
Sir Terry Wogan has now died =
A dear wordy hit resigns. =
Redesign award history.


[19 January 2016 -
Many iconic musicians have died in the last month. The latest to check out is Eagles founder and guitarist Glenn Frey.]

Glenn Lewis Frey is dead = End is "rewind - Eagles fly!"


[6 January 2016 -
North Korea declares that it has developed an H Bomb.]

North Korea's H Bomb = Thanks, Bob O. - Mr Hero!


[28 December -
The Motörhead frontman and rock 'n' roll icon, who gave us songs such as 'Ace of Spades', succumbs rapidly to cancer.]

Lemmy is 'killed by death' (brain cancer) =
Blare CD: Ace hymn led by Ian Kilmister.


[November 2015 and probably the next 12 months -
The political circus that is the US Presidential election ramps up. This is an anagrammatical guide to most of the people who have declared their candidacy, in no particular order and without much seriousness as to the foibles any might have.]

President Webb = Twerp needs bib
President Webb = We'd spent bribe."
President Webb~'s bent dweeb. RIP.

President Carson = Nondescript arse
President Carson = Sad-cretin person
President Carson ~ needs racist porn
President Carson... Reconsider pants!
President Carson = Sincerest pardon?

President J. Bush ~ = Just beer/sin PhD
or
President J. Bush = NB: Dish up jester

President O'Malley = Demoralise plenty.
President O'Malley ~ redeploys ailment.

President Hillary =
Lady Hitler ripens. =
Dreary, inept shill =
Ill harpy inserted. =
Slithery, and peril

President Hillary Clinton = tl;dr: Hitler in nylons - epic!
Install Hitlery Perón in DC: President Hillary Clinton?!
President Hillary Clinton ~ sinned plenty (RICO) - a thrill!

President Sanders = Sad pretender sins.
And a chronology perhaps:
And serpents sired ~ President Sanders.
President Sanders.~ errs. Add ineptness.
President Sanders ~ dreads sniper nest.
President Sanders ~ departs in redness.
On the topic of redness, he has some socialist leanings, so...
President Bernie Sanders = Badness in Red enterprise

President Trump = Ten putrid sperm
President Trump = Muppet trend, sir
President Trump = Pimp/turd enters.
President Trump = Mr Putin, red pest!


[September 2015 -
The news outlets introduce us to the term 'cyberflashing', for sending 'dick pics' to fellow passengers' phones and similar.]

A cyberflasher = Racy bare flesh


[5 August 2015 -
Apparently, thousands of women have been posting photos of their cellulite, stretch marks, etc. on Twitter under the tag #Thighreading, with the aim of celebrating bodies of all shapes and sizes.]

Thighreading = Dire hag thing


[1 July 2015 -
CNN has little cause for pride after a certain report on London's gay pride celebrations, thanks to correspondent Lucy Pawle. See, for example, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/27/cnn-isis-flag-gay-pride_n_7679298.html.]

Lady plus flawed logic = Lucy Pawle's dildo flag.


[14 June 2015 -
Comments at the World Conference of Science Journalists spark debate and the firing of the Nobel laureate who made them. Here is the most widely quoted excerpt and one possible response.]

"Let me tell you about my trouble with girls. Three things happen when they are in the lab: you fall in love with them; they fall in love with you; and when you criticise them, they cry."
=
Why the hell are they whiny about the humour attempted here by Nobel winner Tim Hunt? Foolish, yes, with a highly politically incorrect statement, yet "awful", "vile", "hugely evil"? No.


[4 June 2015 -
The news is awash with reports on a libido-enhancing drug for women, dubbed 'the female Viagra'.]

The drug flibanserin ~
left rabid hunger, sin. ~
...in Three Bad Girls fun.

The drug flibanserin
= Untiring bared flesh!
= Neat bush, girlfriend!
= Enter rabid, flushing.


[23 May 2015 -
'Sound reducers' are used for removal of Crimea-related booing of the Russian Eurovision Song Contest entry.]

'A Million Voices' = I coo "villain's me".


[7 May 2015 -
'A federal judge today dismisses a Nebraska woman's lawsuit against all "homosexuals" on the grounds that it failed to request a specific remedy and relied on biblical verses in a secular court.' An anagram of her characterisation of herself.]

Sylvia Ann Driskell, ambassador for God and His Son Jesus Christ
= Loss. Jurists do in fags' adversary - Nebraska loon has child's mind.


[12 March 2015 -
Announcingr Sir Terry Pratchett's recent death, the following post is made from his Twitter account. Readers of his comic fantasy books might recognise the 'speaker' here - Death speaks in capital letters.]

AT LAST, SIR TERRY, WE MUST WALK TOGETHER.
= Star writer makes ultra-ghostly tweet


[9 March 2015 -
About a day after competing in the prestigious Crufts dog show, Thendara Satisfaction collapses, later dying. Two other dogs that took part in the competition have fallen ill from poisoning.]

Thendara Satisfaction = Fresh data: a cat's in on it!


[27 February 2015 -
Leonard Nimoy (known to many millions as Mr Spock) sends out the following farewell tweet shortly before his death. It's anagrammed here.]

"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory."
=
A nice exit. Star Trek's "beam me up" effect embraced Nimoy. The end.
Live long and prosper.


[7 January 2015 -
Twelve people die in a terrorist attack on this French satirical magazine's offices.]

Charlie Hebdo = Ah, heroic bled.


[7 January 2015 -
Maryland's
Frederick News-Post writes the following in an editorial titled 'Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter, Kirby Delauter':
'Knowing Councilman Kirby Delauter as we do, we weren't surprised that he threatened The Frederick News-Post with a lawsuit because we had, he says -- and we're not making this up -- been putting Kirby Delauter's name in the paper without Kirby Delauter's authorization. Attorneys would be called, Kirby Delauter said.']

Kirby Delauter = I truly reek bad!


[3 January 2015 -
All seven campuses of Florida's FastTrain College close after many millions of dollars in fraud against students, taxpayers, etc. See http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/miami-dade/article2485300.html.]

FastTrain College = Farce. It's not legal. FastTrain College = Art's fleecing a lot.

Whistleblowers have recently reported that exotic dancers were hired to bring in young men, many of whom didn't speak English or know what they were agreeing to. We can only guess how far these 'admissions representatives' were encouraged/allowed to go:
FastTrain College ~ let slag fornicate.
FastTrain College = 'Fellate groins' act


[31 December 2014 -
Shortly after her husband gave her a handbag with a special pocket for carrying a handgun, 29-year-old nuclear research scientist Veronica Rutledge is fatally shot by her two-year-old son. Both the boy and the handbag had been placed in the front of a shopping trolley at an Idaho Walmart.]

Veronica Rutledge = Rate gun-lover 'iced'
Veronica Rutledge = Lurid Net coverage


[8 December 2014 -
Things get worse with Putin's invasion of Crimea.]

Russia's President Vladimir Putin ~
treads in. "I disrupt maps & ruin lives."

Vain USSR Premier Stalin did sit up:
Russia's President Vladimir Putin


[4 December 2014 -
Pope Francis has dismissed the head of his guards, Col. Daniel Anrig, apparently for his authoritarian approach. The Pope is reportedly also displeased about the penthouse flat built for Anrig's family above the Swiss Guard barracks at the Vatican. And there are questions about his past, though he claims innocence of, for instance, human rights violations in a raid he once led on a refugee centre.]

Colonel Daniel Anrig = Call on angel, I rode in.
Daniel Anrig ~ in a grand lie...
Perhaps his case may be used as a 'learning aid'. We don't know all the facts, but he probably shouldn't have decided to 'drag alien in' at the immigration centre.


[25 November 2014]
The Ferguson riots = Gunfire shot store.
The Ferguson riots = Thefts? Ignore ours.


[11 November 2014 -
A new Pepsi product is undergoing testing among college students in the US: Dewitos. Yes, this yellow-orange concoction is a Doritos-flavoured version of Mountain Dew.]

Pepsi Dewitos = I deposit spew. = P.S. Idiots weep


[6 November 2014 -
The American ISP Verizon (and AT&T, on a 'test' basis) inject a unique identifier into the Web traffic of each of their users, for purposes such as tracking users' interests and serving tailored adverts. Third parties such as Twitter have worked this out and use these tokens, which the EFF call perma-cookies, for their own purposes (see https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2014/11/verizon-x-uidh).]

Perma-cookies
= "OK, I'm a creep. So?"
= 'Spookier!' came.


[early November 2014 -
By giving the Republicans a majority in the Senate, voters seemed to be saying that their selection of Obama as President was an error.]

The USA's midterm elections
= Ahem. Mistrusted selection?
= See me hit/insult Democrats.

And here's a summary that would suit _most_ such elections:
The USA's midterm elections =
Menu's   __ Latest idiot/schemer


[20 October 2014 -
President Obama has appointed a former White House official to oversee the (mis)management of ebola in the US, amidst calls to take a hard line on flights originating in certain countries. The concern, hysteria, xenophobia, etc. are likely to continue, as are classic plot points of zombie movies.]

President Obama's official 'ebola czar', Mr Ron Klain =
Director airs Blacks on a Plane, an Afro-zombie film.


[16 October 2014 -
More reports come in from Ukrainian soldiers that they are fighting not so much 'separatists' as Moscow claims but those ubiquitous Russian mercenaries dressed in green.]

The 'little green men' = Let them greet Lenin!


[9 October 2014]
'Baby Doc' Duvalier has died of a heart attack in the capital.
=
I don't ache a lot, pal.
- A Haiti devastated by a bad, rich fucker


[24 September 2014 -
Starbucks introduce the beer-flavoured coffee drink 'Dark Barrel Latte' along with upcoming seasonal drinks such as the Pumpkin Spice Latte.]

Pumpkin Spice Latte:
It's Epic Puke Plan(TM)


[24 September 2014 -
Advisory body the German Ethics Council recommend that incest between siblings be decriminalised. They explain: "The right of adult siblings to sexual self-determination weighs heavier in these cases than the abstract good of the family. [...] They feel that their basic rights are not respected and forced into secrecy or denial of their love."]

German Ethics Council = Goal: Much nicer incest


[September 2014 -
Celebrity data, including nude photos and text messages, are made public, thanks to Apple's genius and weak passwords.]

The Apple iCloud service
= See private couple / child.
= Leech video/pictures, pal.


[August 2014 -
At the Last Stop activity centre's Bullets and Burgers shooting range, a nine-year-old girl proves unable to manage the recoil after instructor Charles Vacca, 39, switches the Uzi in her hands to automatic mode. As her parents watch, it ends up pointing over her head and four shots are fired. Vacca is fatally shot in the head.]

Bullets and Burgers
= Bunglers rued blast.
= Dabbler. Guns. Result?
= Get a RL blunderbuss!

The Bullets and Burgers Adventure
= Bet absurd result unnerved the gal.


[August 2014 -
The phenomenon of 'rollin' coal' emerges more strongly: people modifying their vehicles to spew great clouds of black smoke. It's an American thing, described by some as 'pollution porn'.]

Yea, a car-fume hick! = America, fuck yeah!
Rollin' coal = Ill car + loon.


[August 2014 -
Friends Fun Wine CEO Joe Peleg says: "We are proud to be the first-to-market with our Fun Wine In A Can, and look forward to introducing the new coffee varieties to our Fun-Loving Fans." They could get in trouble, at least if they forget to remove the caffeine (this is one of the several legal issues that Four Loko faced).]

Friends Fun Wine = We sniff ruin/end.


[11 August 2014]
Robin Williams has committed suicide
= We'd sob a curtain idiom, "I'll miss him", etc.
= I die dismal, er, comic man without bliss


[7 April 2014 -
After a certain personality dies, an inquest reveals some details of the circumstances - heroin was found in her bloodstream and drug paraphernalia in her home.]

Depending on whether you figure enough facts are in, choose between
The 'journalist' Peaches Geldof = Fact: Heroin helped gal to Jesus.
The 'journalist' Peaches Geldof = Judge all facts, pose 'The heroin...'.


[3 Feb. 2014 -
The actor is found dead at home with a syringe in his arm and what appeared to be about 70 bags of heroin.]

Philip Seymour Hoffman =
Oh, iffy pump holes in arm...
Line up arm. Hypo offs him. [or 'Hypo offs him. Ample ruin.']


[16 December 2013 -
Lawmakers in the US state of Michigan pass a 'rape insurance' bill, amidst controversy.]

'Rape insurance' = User near panic.


[2 December 2013]
'Nelson Mandela Has Died' = Headline as old man ends


[8 November 2013]
Is Roadkill Safer Than Chicken McNuggets? =
Glancing at skid marks, "Oh, lunch is free!", etc.


[6 November 2013 -
The news reports that these are being brought out in time for Christmas:]

Lay's Wavy potato chips dipped in chocolate
= Hippos clap, downplay tooth decay / cavities.
= Why not apply 'cocoa' additives? It's cheap, pal.


[27 October 2013 -
The Velvet Underground frontman dies.]

Obit-hunter, now Lou Reed's inhaling ends:
soon he will be in the satin, underground.


[26 October 2013 -
I don't actually believe the project to carry people to the 'edge of space' in a balloon-borne capsule is going to fail horribly,but:]

The World View space-balloon project
= 'Hold on, love.' 'Eject!' We blow apart, crisp.
= Overpaid lethal clowns power object.

World View Enterprises =
Er, Wild West perversion.


[25 October 2013 -
The BBC reports: 'Bank of America's Countrywide Financial unit has been found liable for defrauding two US government-backed mortgage companies [through a] programme that was internally called "Hustle" or "high-speed swim lane" which allowed loans to be processed quickly without checking their quality.']

High speed swim lane = We 'help', hiding a mess.


[20 September 2013 -
For no real reason, apart from masochism perhaps, I decide to check for anagrams of 'Prirazlomnaya', the Arctic oil platform that Greenpeace activists recently boarded.]

Greenpeace is on the Prirazlomnaya platform =
Char Gazprom men openly in a petrol fire at sea!


[12 September 2013 -
Britain's National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) says that women with certain types of urinary incontinence should be given free botox injections if they don't successfully make lifestyle changes (that is, do their pelvic-floor exercises). The toxin renders the bladder wall less hyperactive.]

No more bladder exercises for urinary incontinence =
NICE: Runny seniors need a free botox clinic. Mad error.


[26 August 2013 -
This 'gram is prompted by a mention of fires in Yosemite National Park.]

Yosemite, California, USA ~ is on fire. Aye, calamitous.


[21 August 2013 -
Speculation about the whereabouts of the wanted whistleblower and former NSA contractor is rife.]

Where is Edward Snowden?
We'd answer: "Hidden? Worse?"


[1 August 2013 -
News reports state that 'US President Barack Obama has cancelled a meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin'. The decision to cancel the talks, announced during a trip by the President to Los Angeles, comes the morning after Obama said he was 'disappointed' with Russia's decision to offer Edward Snowden asylum for a year.]

Pres. Obama's "disappointed", so he will not be meeting Putin. =
Imploring: "I must be appeased! Post a Snowden obit, then lie?"


[13 July 2013 -
The seemingly endless parade of comic-book heroes on the big screen continues.]

Heroes Superman and Batman will team up for a new film in the works. =
Freak-man alpha-male testosterone upwind. Firm men a-blur. Who wins?


[June 2013 -
Those choosing to use Yahoo! mail are being forced to accept an 'upgrade' and, with it, new terms of service that explicitly allow snooping on mail for various advertising and other purposes (it's no longer just about 'trusted partners'). They are, after all, a money-making venture. But don't worry, one can use the 'Ad Interest Manager' to tailor the adverts a little / opt out of some of the personalisation.]

Ad Interest Manager -> A rant / disagreement


[25 May 2013 -
As part of his protest against same-sex marriage, a French writer shoots himself at the altar of Notre Dame Cathedral, thus decreasing the number of people on his side by 1.]

The essayist (and a blogger) Dominique Venner ~ died. To a less queer-/gay-bashing environment!


[5 May 2013 -
Sailendra Nath Roy, holder of the Guinness world record for the longest trip by a zip wire attached to one's hair, tried for another record recently. The task he set himself was to cross India's Teesta River on a 180-metre-long zip wire attached to his ponytail. He made it roughly halfway before dying of a heart attack.]

Sailendra Nath Roy's dead in bridge-crossing stunt =
Guinness doesn't grant 'bad hair day' records in list!


[26 April 2013 - the 27th anniversary of the Chernobyl disaster]
The Chernobyl nuclear disaster = Hard concrete buries nasty hell.
The Chernobyl disaster = Shit, sorry debacle then.


[13 February 2013 -
A New Zealand woman's 10-litre-a-day Coca-Cola habit has been linked to her death at age 30.]

Did Coke kill Natasha Harris? =
I'd risk cola as a health drink.


[12 January 2013 -
Authorities in Vietnam have admitted that a 100-person team are tasked with spreading the party line in blog comments and the like. These people are termed 'public opinion shapers'.]

'Public opinion shapers' in Vietnam ~
can pump in visible Hanoi spin, rote.


[8 January 2013 -
Citing customers' desire for healthier foods, US snack-cake company Hostess declared bankruptcy, and the final Twinkies were snapped up - stockpiled or made the centre-piece of parties. It has now been announced that the iconic and disgusting junk food will continue production in Canada, reaching US shelves from there.]

A reprieve for Hostess Twinkies =
So, swine keep this fat reservoir.


[14 December 2012 -
Several children and adults were killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting.]

Sandy Hook Elementary = Yank shot 'enemy'. Reload!

Or, partially in a child's scrawl:
Sandy Hook Elementary = Yank shot many. REELODE!


[20 November 2012 -
The new look of Windows 8 has been renamed 'Windows 8 Modern UI', after Microsoft was sued by Metro AG for naming it 'Metro'.]

Windows 8 Modern UI =
I dunno, 8 worms wide?


[10 November 2012 -
The death of Jimmy Saville left a storm in its wake.]

'I like to share this secret with young men:'
'Touch this here 'n it grows, see? Many like it.'


[9 November 2012 -
MIT have announced their work on implantable devices powered (in part) by the ear's cochlear 'biological battery'. Applications include transmitting data about the condition of the ear.]

New ear-battery-powered chips ~ won't be creepy data-whisperer.


[6 November 2012 -
Details of the latest US Presidential campaign emerged.]

Campaign total: seven billion dollars =
I'll plan sad "Bring me votes!" allocation.


[1 November 2012 -
A 'superstorm' hit the eastern seaboard.]

Hurricane Sandy =
Ah, ruin scared NY!


[16 October 2012 -
As the US Congress looked at several new cyber-security bills, news stories were filled with talk of a possible 'digital Pearl Harbor', given that, for example, 'cyber criminals or terrorists have the capability to take down the country's critical financial, energy or communications infrastructure'.]

A digital Pearl Harbor = Arab gal hit reload! RIP.


[10 October 2012]
What do Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga have in common? =
'We'd had a major band launch on stage - i.e., by vomiting.'


[October 2012]
The U.S. Presidential debates =
See the line-up: bastards, tied.


[1 September 2012 -
The government of India found some of this guy's anti-corruption cartoons too extreme:]

Aseem Trivedi = Restive media.

And an anagram of a quotation from a jurist cited in the above-linked article:
'Either the allegation is true, in which case you deserve it; or it is false, in which case you ignore it. This kind of behaviour is not acceptable in a democracy.' - Markandey Katju
=
Here, I give you rich-guy authorities in India who just can't take his critical voice the cue to hear one idea a parent will offer a child - i.e., "Sticks and stones may break my bones...".


[9 August 2012 -
This Russian feminist punk rock band got in trouble for brazen anti-Putin protest antics.]

Pussy Riot = Prissy? Out!


[1 August 2012 -
This US Presidential hopeful has been in the news lately. This could be an anti-gram, depending on one's views.]

Willard Mitt Romney = Mr Dimwit - not really.


[1 August 2012 -
Doping?]

The Olympics in London =
Ditch money on pills, no?


[22 July 2012 -
The headline refers to a man who exploded along with some Israeli tourists on an airport bus at the Bulgarian resort of Burgas. Some opine that the man was trying to discourage Israelis from travelling. Israel blame Hezbollah and Iran. Etc.]

Man in Bermuda Shorts Blows Up Bus at Burgas Airport =
Bomb terror was bad. Pass up Bulgarian tourism hunts.


[21 July 2012]
Boy Scouts Reaffirm the Gay Ban =
Macho rot: "Bye-bye, fruits an' fags!"


[20 July 2012]
James Eagan Holmes and The Dark Knight Rises at an Aurora, Colorado, cinema =
One area man toting guns, a red "I am the Joker!" hairdo, and a massacre shock all.
Or
James Eagan Holmes attends The Dark Knight Rises at an Aurora, Colorado, cinema =
He's: a Glock-toting loon, a sad student, an area man, "I am the Joker!"-haired massacrer.


[12 July 2012 -
Upon announcement of the jury's 'Guilty' verdict for burning down his mansion, a man took poison in court. Cyanide was later found in his car.]

"I munch on trial-room cyanide" man =
Michael Marin in court on Monday


[7 July 2012 -
Riffing on the 'pics or it didn't happen' theme in relation to a recent piece of science]

The Higgs Boson, or 'the God Particle' =
Big delight? Searchers got no photo!


[5 July 2012 -
Fear over an electronic cigarette brought in the authorities, and many people had to wait a long time for traffic to resume on the UK's M6 motorway.]

Users of electronic cigarettes ~ ignite facless terror. Cue cost.


[20 March 2012 -
This headline was run by the BBC]

"Do hunger hormones make us fat?" =
No. Forks near mouths made 'Huge!'.


[10 March 2012 -
A shooting rampage occurred in the waiting room of a Pennsylvania phychiatric clinic.]

The loon stops at the psychiatrist's office =
"Psst! I set off to shoot the clinic as therapy."


[10 March 2012 -
The US-market recipe for Pepsi (and Coca-Cola also) was changed in response to one of the standard ingredients being declared a carcinogen in California. The company wanted to avoid having to put warning labels on the cans.]

California has deemed Pepsi carcinogenic =
Panic led aims for a recipe-change decision.
Or, simpler,
Pepsi deemed carcinogenic in CA =
Mice died. Recipe panic. Cans gone.


[27 February 2012 -
Two people died in a fire at Brazil's Antarctic research station.]

Antarctic bonfire - film says a blaze razed ~
Brazil's Comandante Ferraz base facility.


[13 February 2012 -
An official with an Indonesian religious affairs office, which grants marriage licences, estimated that a new requirement for each couple to plant two trees before receiving one will result in at least 2,000 new trees a month gracing Medan.]

The couples getting married in Medan, on Sulawesi island = Indonesian rules: each Muslim digs, planting a tree, to wed.


[12 February 2012]
Whitney Houston dead = That Winehousy OD end


[10 January 2012 -
Kim Jong-il died.]

'Dear Leader' ... Er, real dead.


[13 November 2011 -
Russia's Phobos Grunt spacecraft was still circling Earth, as engineers tried to communicate with it and get it to respond. The engine that was supposed to take it to Mars didn't fire.]

The Russian Phobos Grunt mission =
Unit hushes so is not probing Mars.


[10 November 2011 -
Sidney Nsubunga Enoch was given a 30-year prison sentence for murdering Uganda's leading gay rights activist.]

Sidney Nsubunga Enoch = Gay bunch needs unions!
Sidney Nsubunga Enoch: "Shun/denounce/bin gays!"


[August 2011 -
Gerard Depardieu was accused of urinating on the floor of an aeroplane when told that he could use the toilet only later in the flight.]

Gerard Depardieu = A rude drip, agreed?


[August 2011 -
This one is pretty self-explanatory]

Riots and looting in England = Ignorant lads ignite London.


[July 2011]
The singer Amy Winehouse found dead = Hey, was drug infusion needed at home?


[17 June 2011 -
A day of civil disobedience planned was held in Saudi Arabia: women with a valid driving licence from another country were encouraged to drive around, and others are to be taught, on private property. how to drive.]

Women drivers' day = Men advised 'Worry!'


[6 June 2011 -
An elderly woman selling 'suicide kits' typically to those with terminal diseases hit the news after a young man not in this category used one of the contraptions.]

Suicide kits = Sick? I'd use it.


[24 March 2011 -
Pop artists the Pet Shop Boys launched their first ballet, an adaptation of a fairy tale by perhaps-spinning-in-his-grave Hans Christian Andersen. One reviewer described this as featuring 'waffling choreography', and others are far less charitable.]

Pet Shop Boys launch their first ballet =
Britons help plot a faithless butchery.


[13 March 2010 -
With the worrying news of partial meltdown at a Japanese nuclear power plant in the wake of the recent earthquake, and the prospect of meltdown looming for a second reactor at the complex...]

Nuclear meltdown in Japan = Unwelcome ninja-land trap!

And a related anagram:
Nuclear disaster = Lad creates ruins.

And another natural-disaster-related anagram:
"An earthquake achieves what the law promises but does not in practice maintain - the equality of all men" - Ignazio Silone
=
It shows amazing hope too: the finest human capabilities quickly called on via elements (earth, water) in a non-quiet area.


[2 March 2010 -
A study hits the news:
[...] By the end of the talk, she says, "All the coffee had reached my bladder. And that raised the question: What happens when people experience higher levels of bladder control?"
[...]
The researchers found that the people with full bladders were better at holding out for the larger reward later.
[...]
"You seem to make better decisions when you have a full bladder," Tuk says. So maybe you should drink a bottle of water before making a decision about your stock portfolio [...]]

"You seem to make better decisions when you have a full bladder." =
I may be an evil, dreadful arsehole to mock one wee study, but she ...
And truly I can't be bothered to complete that thought. There is so much wrong with such 'studies', at least as they're reported in the press. No matter how cute they may sound.


[11 February 2010 -
Nokia stocks fell 14.mumble per cent after Nokia CEO and Microsoft shareholder Stephen Elop announced the 'broad strategic partnership', less than a week after he sent out an internal memo describing Nokia as being on a burning platform.]

Nokia plus Microsoft = Main portfolio sucks.

Nokia-plus-Microsoft deal = Platform sinks - cool! Adieu.

Nokia's CEO, Stephen Elop ~ to escape open sinkhole?


[6 February 2010 -
Legendary guitarist Gary Moore has died at the age of 58. From the saddest blues to the most blistering solos, he will be missed.]

Gary Moore dies early this Sunday =
His guitar lay sad. No more dry eyes.


[December 2010 -
Full-body scanners are being rolled out in more airports, prompting outrage from those who see this 'virtual strip search' as an invasion of privacy. A previous tweak to the system in at least some jurisdictions in the UK involved exempting under-18s from these scans, in the wake of outrage from some privacy-focused groups.]

Conducting virtual strip searches =
Circus stunt: "It's average child porn!"


[19 October 2010 -
Siegfried Rotthaeuser is circumventing - and making a statement about - an impending EU ban on high-wattage light bulbs, by selling the same product as 'heatballs'. For each of these 95% efficient small heaters sold, he will donate 30 cents to saving the rainforest.]

Siegfried Rotthaeuser ~ steers heat for rigid EU.
Siegfried Rotthaeuser = Sir, I'd get 'heaters' for EU.


[13 October 2010 -
Finally, all 33 people trapped in a collapsed mine in Chile were rescued after months of painstaking drilling and rescue attempts.]

The mine rescue is finished at last
= Itchiest men tease "Furnish ladies!"
= Mess in Chile - it unearthed fiestas.

And shortly thereafter, one of them faced interesting times: While he was trapped undergound, his wife and mistress found out about each other just outside the mine.

A Chilean wife and mistress meet. =
Free man in a mess with ladies, etc.


[10 September 2010 -
On Friday, founding member of the Electric Light Orchestra Mike Edwards died in a freak accident*: a bale of hay rolled down a hill in Devon and crashed into the 62-year-old cellist's van, causing him to swerve into another vehicle.]

Cellist Mike Edwards ~ said: "Wreck stilled me."


[28 August 2010 -
Deemed worthy to be front-page news - and therefore worthy of an anagram - socialite Paris Hilton was riding in a car that was pouring out marijuana smoke. When the cops pulled the vehicle over, a crowd started to form, so the police ushered her and the driver into a more secluded area. At this point, Hilton decided that she needed to apply her lip balm. We join the story here.]

The American pop celebrity and rich-set socialite opening her purse...
=
The coppers peer in. Naughty imbecile Paris Hilton arrested - cocaine!


[21 August 2010 -
After coming in for a landing, flight attendant Steven Slater yelled at a passenger over the in-flight intercom, grabbed at least one beer from the refreshments trolley, and escaped via the plane's emergency exit.]

...At this time, please make sure that your seat belts are securely fastened, and that your tray tables are locked and in the upright position and your carry-on baggage is securely stowed in the overhead bins or under the...
=
Prepare for l--  Arggh! I can't take that rubbish any longer! I need to curse at a lady - she deserves that, the ugly turd-teats! - and escape. Also, I could sure use beer. Yes, I'm bitter. Yes, I ain't workin' here no more... You don't say!


[May 2010 -
Aeroplanes in much of Europe were grounded for days as a result of the ash cloud from the non-anagrammable Icelandic volcano Eyjafjallajokull.]

Iceland's volcanic ash plumes = Plan calm avionics schedules.
Iceland's volcanic ash plumes = Claim such can dissolve plane.


[29 November 2009 -
Perhaps feeling starved for publicity, fashion waif Kate Moss made a comment recently that was blasted by various groups as irresponsible and as promoting anorexia nervosa. Asked whether she has any mottos, she replied as follows:]

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."
= Gist: Kate's style's no-food shenanigans.
= Insanest stylishness: Take no food / gag.
= No foods, thinness as aging Kate's style.


[November 2009 -
Coming around again to hit the news in a big way is climate change.]

Climate change tips:
= Smiling, accept heat.
= Melt ice as nightcap.
= Cite the magic plans!
= CCTI helps manage it. [US Climate Change Technology Initiative]


[November 2009 -
News stories in various countries report fights and other nastiness at clinics where swine flu vaccine is being offered to at-risk groups. Opinions vary.]

Fuse when lit... The swine flu.
The swine flu vaccine = We've fun at clinics, eh?
= 'In', chic even. Wasteful.
Civic waste funnel, eh?


[9 October 2008 -
State bank bailouts and spasms in financial markets have created cause for concern in much of the world.]

A great banking crisis looms - Big managers' risks ain't cool!

And more an 'anti-gram':
Banking crisis = Brisk Gains, Inc.

As for which markets may succeed...
The most solid financial advice I could present =
Invest in a potent alcoholic fluid - ciders, meads, ...


[6 October 2008 -
Following what many have described as a lack-lustre performance in televised debates and interviews, US Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin prompts some lack of confidence, including amongst the media.]

Concerns About Palin's Readiness as a Big Test Nears =
A scatterbrained gal spouts basic nonsense in ears.


18 July 2008 -
Media reports feature Genarlow Wilson, who had been sentenced to 10 years in prison without parole for consensual oral sex with another minor. The Georgia State Supreme Court deemed the punishment cruel and unusual.]

Genarlow Wilson = Er, no swallowing!


[25 June 2008 -
After finally gaining clearance to enter Burma, the members of Telecoms Sans Frontieres leave the country, when attempts to reach the areas they wished to serve are blocked.]

Telecoms Sans Frontieres ~ transfers me to silence. So...


[23 May 2008 -
Promotion of 'National Vegetarian Week' is intense.]

National Vegetarian Week =
An olive (Greek). Wanna eat it?


[20 April 2008 -
At the start of her Arctic tour, the Governor General of Canada participates in a hunting ritual in which people holding a tarp bounce someone several metres in the air in order to spot potential prey. (Some feared she'd break her legs, but she emerges unscathed.)]

Michaelle Jean's Inuit blanket toss =
"As mine's a nice state job, I'll hunt elk."

(Since the event was held in an auditorium, I'm guessing no elk were to be found, though.)


[2 April 2008 -
The opening of Heathrow Airport's Terminal 5 is plagued with troubles. The problems cited in press reports include aircraft taking off without any bags on board, 'baggage retrieval issues', etc.

We all know the non-PR-friendly translation...]

Baggage retrieval issues = See luggage arrive as bits.


[27 March 2008 -
The US currency continues its slide downward.]

The United States dollar
= Tatters halted delusion.
= Old lira sat untested.
= All said "Trusted note??"


[24 February 2008 -
In the wake of reports of Cuban leader Fidel Castro's impending demise, the media prove that they will make much of any shred of news on developments in Cuba for the next little while.]

'Fidel Castro steps down' = Plot is newscast fodder.


[7 February 2008 -
Dr. Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, sparks controversy with his opinion that Muslims in the UK should be allowed to choose to apply Islamic law rather than UK law.]

Rowan Williams = 'Law in Islam' row.


[6 December 2007 -
19-year-old Robert Hawkins fatally shoots several others and himself at a Nebraska shopping mall. He leaves behind a note, offering apologies but also the words 'I'm going to be famous'.]

The suicide note said 'Sorry for everything'. =
His draft, 'I'd try shooting everyone!', cues ire.


[1 November 2007 -
The man who dropped Little Boy on Hiroshima dies, at age 92. If he had opted for a headstone, perhaps the following anagram would have adorned it.]

Enola Gay pilot Paul W. Tibbets =
Little boy upbeat - a Nip's aglow.


[27 October 2007 -
Iran responds defiantly to new US sanctions, aimed at state-owned banks and other institutions. Russian President Vladimir Putin likens this to 'mad people wielding razor blades'.]

Dubya: "I'll damage, topple, press, and downsize Iran!" ~
And Putin says: "mad people wielding razor blades".


[31 August 2007 -
On the 10th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana, many think back...]

A 'saint' rests, done, yet sad old ladies cry in pain =
Today, ten years on, Princess Diana is still dead.

For those who don't remember:
Car dispensed ~ dead princess.


[August 2007 -
Singer Amy Winehouse is hospitalised for 'severe exhaustion', but the media don't all buy that line.]

Metro: "heroin, ecstasy, cocaine, ketamine, and booze" =
Those make one crazy-arse medicine cabinet too, no?


[July 2007 -
Several of the 'Adventures of Tintin' stories ruffle feathers, with the UK Commission for Racial Equality calling for removal of the 1930s' Tintin in the Congo from shelves, arguing that "the only place that it might be acceptable [...] would be in a museum, with a big sign saying 'old fashioned, racist claptrap'".]

Georges Prosper Remi's cartoon "Tintin" ~ promotes racist tripe. No negroes grin.


[July 2007 -
The US courts uphold 'DC Madam' Deborah Palfrey's right to liquidate her 'sole remaining asset', over 20 kilos of telephone records. Various members of the government and others sweat.]

Deborah Jeane Palfrey
Horny Rep. + a fee = a BJ deal


[April 2007 -
Harry Potter fever once more...]

Computer-generated images = Men agree Potter used magic.


[January 2007 -
The BBC report: 'The US military has given the first public display of what it says is a revolutionary heat-ray weapon to repel enemies or disperse hostile crowds. Called the Active Denial System, it projects an invisible high energy beam that produces a sudden burning feeling.'.]

Heat device + SS mentality = the Active Denial System.


[Late 2006 -
Australian bushfires have claimed an area the size of Cyprus in Victoria alone, according to news reports. They are showing no signs of letting up. Many down under are hoping for a white Christmas, to counter the trend:]

Australia's trend: natural disaster.


[July 2006 -
As Israel enters southern Lebanon...]

"We are also pushing for an urgent end to the current hostilities, but the views of the parties on how to achieve this are different."
- Ms Condoleeza Rice
US Secretary of State
=
"Truth's we hate to infuriate or hurt groups of crazies that are friends with us. I see fit to voice nothing to condemn Israel's acts. We feel a very clear need to be sheep - honest."


[May 2006 -
Finnish heavy metal band Lordi, who appear onstage in full monster make-up, surprise many - and some priests in host country Greece express concern.]

First time ever: Finland makes Eurovision Song Contest Finals! =
Nation's giant, offensive monsters suck! Lordi're evil manifest!!


[April 2006 -
Oxford win the annual Varsity Boat Race, against hated rival Cambridge.]

The Dark Blue crew are victorious in The Boat Race =
I taunt CU - "I'd teach heroic rowers: overtake rabble."


[February 2006 -
Well-known US anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan hits the international news when she is arrested just before President Bush's State of the Union address, in connection with her t-shirt making a political statement (in breach of the rules for visitors in the House gallery). This prompts media debate as to what constitutes acceptable clothing in this context.]

Cindy Sheehan's tee = 'Hey, Hanes is decent!'


[January 2006 -
Dr. Stanley Biber, believed to have performed between 4500 and 6000 sexual reassignment surgeries in 1969 to 2003, dies at the age of 82. Described in obituaries as a pioneer in this field, he also trained many physicians in turning men into women.]

Breast byline: Stanley H. Biber


[September 2005 -
Hurricane Katrina hits the southern US, flooding New Orleans and many other areas.]

The State of Louisiana ~
is afloat out in the sea.


[July 2005]

In international news Friday is:
The UK today launched a massive attempt to elicit info related to three terrorist bombs inside the Underground and a later eerie blast that tore open a central London bus.
(Yes, they reiterate 'terror won't win!')

=

"Listen, and understand. That Terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity. Or remorse. Or fear. And it absolutely will not stop - EVER! - until you are DEAD."
-- Kyle Reese (to Sarah Connor), in The Terminator


[June 2005]

Tom Cruise Declares Undying Love for Katie Holmes on Oprah. =
"I do"'s forever - oh, up until Scientology con makes her alarmed.


[March 2005 -
Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles are to wed.]

In the wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla... ~
sing a mild choral preface: 'Candle in the Wind'!

The royal wedding of Prince Charles Windsor to Camilla Parker Bowles =
Small-eared chap (dirt-poor worker)'s now won angelic bride (chaste filly).

The royal wedding of Prince Charles Windsor to Camilla =
Widower'll confide marriage plan's tiny catch: old horse.


[January 2005 -
Concerns about terrorism continue. How far will the security measures or paranoia go?]

Making terroristic threats
= It's ticking? Roar 'Arrest them!'
= Anarchist got striker/timer.


[November 2004 -
A study shows that, apparently, 70% of people would willingly trade their computer password for a bar of chocolate. Fears are yet again raised about corporate IT security.]

Note: a hacker stole my PC password =
Chocolate wrappers sat on my desk.


[October 2004 -
Researchers report that four out of 10 medical students believe it can be justified to have a sexual relationship with a patient. Headlines blare out 'Doctor--Patient Survey Shock'.]

Somewhat rude anagrams on the topic:
Doctor--Patient Survey Shock
= Every scrip had 'to suck...' - OTT, no?
= Scurvy? Take Hotdoctorpenis.


[September 2004 -
Prime Minister Tony Blair is due to undergo catheter ablation surgery for a heart condition. Some express a desire for a, literally, morbid outcome.]

The PM's catheter ablation surgery =
Chest tears open! May Blair get hurt!


[May 2004 -
Several new countries join the EU.]

Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Slovakia, the Czech Republic, Hungary, Malta, Cyprus, and Slovenia...
=
Huh?
A Baltic trio, Central European & Slavic land citizens, & islands having a May EU hookup. All pay VAT.

=
Not: Pitcairn; Somalia; Tuvalu; Gaza Strip, Palestine; Kenya; Chad; Holland; Bolivia; church nave, Ely; USA.


[February 2004
- Speculation is rife about what NASA's Mars mission might find. There is much talk of water... The Spirit rover's mission proceeds despite a software error, which was dutifully noted in the log files as the flash memory filled with old file and directory entries. On Mars, the rover continuously tries to reboot, but a low-level deletion run by NASA saves the day.]

The NASA Spirit Mars rover = Rain, river, stream, hot spas...
(It was intended to 'spot their river' after all.)

The NASA Spirit Mars rover = a PR error - natives smash it.
Mars rover Spirit = Storm arrives. RIP.
A little software glitch = Logfiles alert with tact.


[October 2003 -
Magician David Blaine's spectacle of remaining in a perspex box high over London generates a 'ho-hum' response from many critics.]

A Blaine-in-the-box =
One banal exhibit!


[August 2003 -
Bombing of the UN's building in Baghdad kills over 20 UN workers, representatives of aid organisations, and guests. Among the dead is a highly respected man Kofi Annan regarded as a brother.]

The UN's Sergio Vieira de Mello =
Death over US regime's oil line.


[When Brian Wells went to deliver a pizza, he was kidnapped and a bomb placed around his neck. After following orders to rob a bank, he pleaded with the police to save him. Some thought he'd made up the story about a bomb - until he exploded while the bomb squad was on its way. The news carries video of at least part of the incident.]

Pizza delivery man Brian Douglas Wells ~
blew up, sadly. 'Amazing', zillions averred.


[July 2003 -
Iranian Siamese twins Laleh and Ladan Bijani are finally given the go-ahead for an operation to separate their joined heads. Both die in the operating room. Of course, any story about Siamese twins will make headlines, just as people used to flock to freak shows.]

The Siamese twins = Site has news item.


[The Running of the Bulls in Barcelona is a touchy subject that receives renewed attention in the days leading up to an international conference to be held there.]

Forum Barcelona is 'The Great Meeting for the World We Want' =
Wrath now, once it emerges a bullfighter/matador-free town?


[Many health workers toil tirelessly to contain Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, keeping it from spreading from China and other hot spots, such as Taiwan.]

The SARS epidemic = Praise the medics!


[March 2003 -
Qatar-based Al Jazeera airs footage, shown on Iraqi television, of US soldiers taken as prisoners of war. If the Geneva Conventions were a concern, this conversation might have taken place:]

"Who's in the photos?" = "The POWs!" "Oh, no. Shit."

This, of course, took place after troops entered Iraq. Various reasons have been offered for the invasion. Here are a couple of them:

Send the troops! = Shorten despot!
(by a few inches at least)

'Destroy all weapons of mass destruction!' =
'See, fool, I want Saddam's country's petrol!'


[February 2003 -
The Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrates on re-entry on the first of the month. I don't need to say much more, other than that the anagram uses the names of the astronauts who died in the Shuttle. Judith Resnick was among those who died in the Challenger accident, and Gus Grissom was a much earlier casualty of man's desire to explore space.]

Launch is go. Handed cosmic sadness. - Brown, Clark, Ramon, ~
Husband, Chawla, Anderson, McCool. And Resnick, Grissom...

Or, for a slightly different emphasis,
Sadness, anguish. Do scold mechanic. - Brown, Clark, Ramon, ~
Husband, Chawla, Anderson, McCool. And Resnick, Grissom...


[January 2003 -
The World Health Organization issues an alert warning of potential contamination of food supplies, after some such attempts were discovered.]

WHO issues alert on food terrorism =
Are donuts or Fritos wholesome, sir?


[October 2002 -
The series of sniper attacks in the Washington, DC, area is finally solved, but not before several deaths occurred. Here is an anagram about an obvious truth of the situation, but some might see it as in poor taste.]

Sniper attacks = Parts in casket.


[August 2002 -
Comedian and satirist Chris Morris's television series
Brass Eye causes controversy with its episode on paedophiles, for which acritical celebrities were convinced to say some of the most inane things imaginable. The programme was intended as an indictment of the sensationalism surrounding the subject, but many felt this was inappropriate - not least the celebrities who were duped.]

That "Brass Eye" episode covering pedos =
Deceived sheep are angry so sob "Stop it!"


[May 2002 -
Dutch politician Pim Fortuyn is assassinated. The right-wing gay politician's anti-immigration stance was the source of much criticism. Note: no disrespect is intended in the anagram; that's just what the letters yielded. 'Fruit' is a slightly dated and probably not politically correct term for a homosexual man.]

Pim Fortuyn dies. = Fruity imp's done.


[November 2001 -
Michael Lasseter, desperate to collect his camera from where he left it in a major US airport after he passed the security checks, etc., evaded guards, ran the wrong way on escalators, and so forth. The airline, which cancelled or delayed hundreds of flights during a search for him, files a lawsuit. I speculate that it would be slightly ironic if, to pay legal fees...]

Michael S. Lasseter ~ sells shite camera.
Or
Michael Lasseter = Camera - he sells it.
And also, perhaps,
Michael S. Lasseter = Careless male shit.


[Sicily's Mount Etna made the news in 2000 then makes another appearance in 2001.]

Etna's eruption = Nature opens it.


[July 2001 -
Metallica's James Hetfield enters a rehabilitation clinic to deal with alcohol abuse. He described rehab as one of the scariest experiences of his life.]

Hetfield in rehab
= Beer? I find health!
= Fit headline here.

Or

Hetfield is placed in rehab. =
Panic filled this beer-head.


[November 2000 -
A controversial US Presidential election and its aftermath consume the news media.]

Our biggest headlines ~ said "GEORGE BUSH LET IN".


[Several authors have come to the conclusion that one William Jefferson Clinton has all the hallmarks of a sex addict. Claiming to have this medical condition might be a good way of escaping jail time.]

Anxious lad cited ~ sexual addiction.


[In and out of the news, the 'School of the Americas' in Fort Benning, Georgia, has been responsible for providing military training to people who went on to rule over their home countries in Central and South America as tyrants. Its stated goals are laudable enough, but many demonstrators feel that those are only part of the story.]

Fort Benning = Benign front.

School of the Americas =
A coach of some Hitlers.


[This is an anagram on the tragic events affecting the former Yugoslavia.]

Yugoslavians = Guys in a salvo.


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